What does transformation really look like?
Well … I can honestly say that I am more than blessed to be able to work with some of the most wonderfully, unique, authentic women ever. What these women have in common, are unique and painful stories that they want to heal and move beyond.
My job, as a guide, is to help them empower women to break away from their old stories, old habits and self-sabotaging generational patterns to find the freedom to do and to be, as they please.
My coaching work is best summed up under the theme of conscious living. This includes looking at the disempowering habits that women have learned to live with, such people pleasing, procrastination, perfectionism, self-doubt, limiting beliefs, fears, indecision and insecurity … and turning them into empowering habits – in the healthy zone – through mindfulness, value identification, inner child work, intentional action planning, connection, accountability, and most importantly play!
The joy that can be discovered by living a conscious life, always starts with figuring out what you really want in life. What are your dreams, desires and passions? It’s not just about finding and setting goals, it’s about aligning yourself with your values and finding the authentic intention behind what you really want, and why you want it.
I would love to introduce you to Jessi, a client of mine who I felt truly truly blessed to have connected with, worked with and am honoured to have become friends with.
When we first met, through a people pleasing masterclass I hosted, Jessi knew there was more to life than what she was experiencing. She wanted to stop the nonsense that was going on inside her head which was pulling her into self-sabotaging habits … and pushing her away from her family and passions. She had had enough of being a people pleaser, and realized that she was giving too much to others, to the point of her feeling continuously exhausted and empty … instead of giving to herself. Our decision to work together allowed her to fulfill her desire of having a mindful, soulful and joyful life.
Looking at Jessi’s daily habits and long term patterns, she discovered where she was getting stuck, and where she wanted to move to. It’s such an interesting concept that we do things in our lives, because we’ve done those things before. The habituated conditioned patterns are the reason why we what we do, and why we think what we think.
What we do know is that we are a product of our childhood – without a doubt. We also know that we react and/or respond to situations because of our conditioning. This helps us to figure out what it is that we want to change in our lives, and more importantly, WHY we want to change!
Sometimes it’s hard to know who we want to be, unless we discover who it is that we don’t want to be.
With the conversation and tools that Jessi received, along with her customized worksheets, determination and accountability, Jessi realized and released some of the chains that kept her bound in past patterns.
Coaching is about what the client wants and what the client needs. The answer is always inside … it was just a matter of pulling those needs out and finding a game plan to move in the direction that she wanted to go.
When children are brought up in a dysfunctional family system, it is common to end up stuffing down their real feelings to show up as others want to see us: the good little girl, the helper, the pretty, nice, loving girl … the people pleaser. These are some of the traits on an Adult Child. Jessi discovered that the more she stuffed down from her past, the heavier the load became; and the heavier the load, the less able she was to create the life that she truly deserved.
Being curious about her thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions, Jessi was coached to investigate her own patterns, consistently. That is how the process of change works. First the curiosity and then the awareness. Working alongside Jessi, we uncovered the whats and the whys, the fears, the self-sabotaging patterns and the beliefs that had kept her stuck in reactionary mode. The bright light that was always inside of her started to shine out again, alongside newly discovered self-confidence!
When we allow our ‘inner critic’ and ‘outer child” to take over our lives … you know the parts of each one of us that judges, discriminates, blames, resists, puts down, pushes away and gives up … we end up down in the valley of life with low self-esteem, low confidence and low energy.
Jessi worked with different tools and rituals that helped her find joy throughout her days. It is just these moments of “now” that form the path on our journey to our dreams … and is exactly where we need to put our attention towards if we want experience the worth of accomplishment and ultimately, joy.
Now Jessi is living a more conscious life, is following her desires without guilt, and is finding moments of joy and happiness scattered through her days regularly, stating that she’s “feeling great and better than I have in YEARS, if EVER!! It’s amazing!!”
When you want freedom bad enough, it will come. You will draw yourself towards the mentors, the community, the support that you need. And you’ll do this without the need to get approval from anyone else besides yourself. This is empowerment. This is self-empowerment. This is transformation.
The beautiful thing is that we all have the authority within us to redefine our lives, but to do that we must define what we want in our lives. That’s our job and nobody else can do it for us!
You just have to find out what you want, get the support you need to guide you there and hold you accountable … it’s a delicious recipe that can be yours for the rest of your life!
Change requires commitment
Commitment requires change
If this resonates with you, please feel free to reach out. I will always make time for women to talk about what they really want, and how to get it. If you would like to connect with me or learn more about my work, come on in and join us in the Soul Empowerment Lounge, or grab my free transformational musical poem “You Choose” … just climb onto my LinkTree here, or message me directly!
CONNECTION is the spice of life
Would love to hear from you!