Life can be like a fast paced chaotic ride on a 10 lane freeway sometimes. Where do I go? What do I do? How do I get there? Did I miss the turn off? What if I’m late? Ya know …
It reminds me of myself, around 10 years ago, when I was going through a time in my life when I felt, to be really honest with you .. completely lost on my own road.
I was eating too much, drinking too much, arguing too much, aging too much, yelling at my kids too much, sitting down too much, judging too much … all of too muchness was bundled inside of me! I was on a steady roll down into the valley of doom, all the while branding myself with the self-victimized label of being a busy, tired, overworked mother who was looking after everyone and everything else.
This ole excuse was super easy to use, especially when I was actively, although unconsciously, avoiding reality. I would so often end up at a dead end, because I literally spent my time “trying” to make everyone happy, except of course, myself.
I was heavily cooped up in the corporate cage of complacency. Along with the physical remorse I was feeling, I added a wicked dose of self-blame to the equation, for allowing me to lock myself up in that cage. You know? Not smart enough. Not worthy enough. Not confident enough. Lots of deep emotional pain surrounding my inability to commit to change.
To be brutally honest, I felt like I didn’t know who I was. I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I had let myself fall apart, and all I wanted to do was hide. I had behind anything that would reassure me of the lies I was telling myself. I hid behind clothes, distraction, argument, blame, resentment and wine.
I hid from myself. I hid from others.
You see, it took me going on a family vacation to Hawaii to turn the table around. To really see the truth that I was so desperately trying to hide. Ok – ya wanna know the real reason? Who on earth puts a scale in the bathroom in a vacation rental? Well that was, to me, my blessing in disguise. I gained one pound per day and I was there for 12 days!
I knew that I needed to change course. Drastically and desperately.
The message I needed to hear, as uncomfortable as it was, was my own message, one that I was also trying to hide for a long time:
“Janine, if you don’t start to look after yourself, your body, mind and soul … you will never, ever be able to find happiness or joy in your life”
I knew that time on this earth was slowly running out, and that there was more to life. I really, really wanted to make an impact, somehow. I didn’t want to leave this world known for my work as a corporate slave. I knew I had more to offer. Much more. I could no longer surrender my legacy simply because of my fears were speaking too loud.
I knew I needed a lifestyle shift. I knew I needed to make an important decision. I knew I needed support.
So I found it. I went out of my familiar bubble and searched for a life coach who could help me with that one decision … one of the most important decision of my life: To figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and to finally put myself first.
A decision that would ultimately change the trajectory of my entire life.
So I did it!!
– I got myself certified as an Integrative Nutrition Coach, against the recommendations of my closest family members.
– I quit my corporate caged job, against the recommendations of my closest family members.
– I started my very own business, against the recommendations of my closest family members.
Sometimes ya just gotta change lanes and go against the grain.
And now – by the blessed twinkle of the morning star … I am blessed to be able to say that I help other women who are stuck in the quagmire of their lives move out of the self-sabotaging patterns that are keeping them ever so small, and ever so busy.
Grand shifts are possible. When we see transformation in ourselves, that is when we know that it is do-able. I can now claim that it is my utmost desire to help women find ways to empower themselves to move “through” stubborn fear-based blocks by pushing away stale generationally conditioned beliefs … so they could create their own lives under their own terms.
When was the last time you closed your eyes to the sun on your face, or stopped and smelled the flowers, or touched the newly budded spruce tip as it ripened under the summer air?
It’s time … it’s time to be curious in the playground of our lives. Yea, sometimes it’s hard, we may fall off a swing or drop down from the monkey bars … but it’s a playground. We are meant to get back up and keep going. This is what resilience is.
We have to look at our lives through another lens, and meet our emotions, whether anger resentment, joy or pride, and we have to be ok with it. We have to be grateful for our experiences, our ups and downs, it is the key to unlocking the power of kindfulness and mindfulness.
Often we want to stay in our own lane, mind our own business and just carry on. But there are times when we have to change lanes, and move into the faster lane so that we can conquer our desires and dreams.
CHANGE REQUIRES COMMITMENT!
COMMITMENT REQUIRES CHANGE!
ARE YOU READY TO COMMIT?
If you would like to connect with me or learn more about my work, come on in and join us in the Soul Empowerment Lounge, or grab my free transformational musical poem “You Choose” … just climb onto my LinkTree here, or message me directly!
Would love to hear from you!